Thursday, September 26, 2013

I've Had Enough.

Had my weekly doctor's appointment today and I'm STILL MEASURING TOO DAMN SMALL. 

I'm afraid to go back and look at how many weeks it has been of them telling me that the baby is small for fear of having a third trimester melt down. So back we go for another growth scan to check on the baby to make sure he is still getting bigger. Back we go to restless nights of worry and googling scary things like fetal growth restriction. 

I don't know if I have motherly instincts or not yet, but my gut tells me nothing is wrong with him, it's just the genetics of my body type and his body type, but the worry is still there. I want to take that measuring tape they use and toss it out the hospital window. 

So back we go to the ultrasound place to check his growth. The first place I called didn't have any openings until after my due date, but they were nice enough to give me the name of a second place to call once I explained that by the time my appointment would come around they could probably just weigh him in person using a scale. 

We go next Tuesday to check him out. Fingers and toes and paws are crossed for a healthy, big (but not too big!) baby!

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The Last 3 Weeks

These are my last 3 weeks of pregnancy. I'm limited by my (lack of) endurance so most of my days are spent reading, online shopping and watching TV. I venture out of the house once a week for my doctor's appointment and that's about it. 

Things I love about the last 3 weeks:

- Everyone ALWAYS answers your phone calls! 
- Since I'm still on the low weight gain spectrum, I can eat whatever I want!
- Even though I get bored, I'm enjoying having some nice relaxation time before we add a little one to the mix.

Things I don't love all that much:

- The major uptick in anxiety about labor/delivery. Especially since my therapist has chosen the next two weeks to go on vacation!
- Reading signs into ANY minor pang or potential labor sign. I sent NJhusband into a tailspin the other day with a false alarm. Oops!
- The constant uncomfortableness. I have been VERY lucky to not have any major symptoms or complications, but it is hard to sleep or sit without SOMETHING hurting.

I can't believe I made it this far...the weeks have just ticked by. I'm still plagued by intense panic over the birth process and hospital stay. I'm trying to get into a "it is going to happen so just relax about it" mindset, but it's tough. I'm hoping the excitement over his arrival trumps the terror in the end. 

Friday, September 20, 2013

Baby Gear that is Dog Friendly

Our house is now fully stocked with all kinds of baby gear. I went a little overboard researching baby gear and who knows if we will use all this stuff, but here are some of the items I am most excited about.

Peg Perego Siesta High Chair:

Initially I thought it was INSANE (and still do) to pay $299 for a high chair, but we did. High chairs ended up being one of the hardest things for us to choose. The small ones that attach directly to your dining room chairs didn't work for us because of our kitchen set-up and a lot of the free standing high chairs are easily movable across a tile floor. I wanted a chair with a full recline so I could use it early on as a safe place to put the baby away from our large dog. I also needed something that wasn't going to fly across our slick floor if knocked into. We tested EVERY chair in two stores and this one was the best fit for us, except for the price. Ultimately though it came down to safety and we bought it. This kid better use this chair until he's 30. 

Mybaby Homemedics Sound Spa on the Go:

This was actually a gift from a fellow mom. It clips to the carseat, pack n' play or stroller and plays music, white noise or ocean sounds to lull your baby to sleep on the go. It was a lifesaver for her little one so she got us one to try out. We have a larger sound machine for the nursery to try to drown out some of the barking and toy squeaking from our puppy during the day, so having one for on-the-go as well makes total sense! Fingers crossed it works just as well for us. 

Only 3ish more weeks until we meet our little guy and he can start product testing! 

*None of these companies know anything about me. These were picks or gifts we got to help us be a successful dog + baby household!  

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Not saying No to Help

I'm a fiercely independent person. I'm not one to ask for help and pride myself on being able to do things on my own. 

36 weeks and 4 days of pregnancy, however will slap that independent streak out of nearly anyone though. 

Which is why when a good friend TOLD me she was coming over tonight to do my laundry and cook some meals for me, I didn't say no.

Which is ALSO why I am now able to sit with my feet up and have clean towels, two batches of mac&cheese, 2 batches of chili and an apple crisp in my fridge/freezer. AND have a clean kitchen. She also did the DOG's laundry! Two loads of blankie's and bedding for him.

The old me would have said no, but the 9 month pregnant me says THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to my friend Rebecca! 

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

36 Weeks and the Carseat Install

36 weeks. I'm still letting that sink in. This past weekend we (ok mostly NJhusband) decided to install the carseat and prep Orion for only having free reign of 2/3 of the backseat now. Thankfully the model we got was fairly easy to install and didn't give NJhusband any trouble. He is going to the local police station that does carseat install checks this upcoming weekend to get it checked. 

The proud dad: 

He even snapped a pic of me with the final product all together:

That's it...I think we are officially all ready. Well I mean as ready as you CAN possibly be.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Book Review - Sweet Mercy by Ann Tatlock

Eve is a typical teen. She thinks she has life all figured out already. Unfortunately living in the age of the Great Depression and Prohibition clouds her crystal clear lines in the sand.

When Eve's father gets laid off from the Ford Motor Company, he moves the family to a seemingly serene vacation lodge owned by his brother. There, the family learns that even the most idyllic of locations can still harbor big secrets.

Eve stumbles across a large bootlegging ring and the people she has come to love and trust are no longer who she thought. For a teen who had good vs. evil all figured out, this rocks her core.

I found myself drawn in to the story, but turned off a bit by the over abundance of self righteousness. I suppose it's par for the course when you mix Christian Fiction and Prohibition.

Bethany House provided me with a copy of this book to review, but I was not financially compensated in any way. The opinions expressed are my own and are based on my own observations and thoughts while reading this novel.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

35 Weeks

Had my check up today. Still no weight gain in a month now. I don't know what to tell these people. NEVER in my life have I had trouble gaining weight. They've checked the baby, he's growing fine...he's just taking all my nutrients and not leaving anything for me. Whatev. I'll try to eat more cookies. 

It's becoming quite clear that this kid is going to need a way out of me soon and my anxiety is at an all time high. My anxieties are rooted in vulnerability, humiliation, being around other people and a general fear of being "stuck" and not able to flee places. Labor and delivery pretty much sums that up in a nutshell. This is the culmination of every thing I fear and it's tough to accept that it is just going to happen. At least I get a pretty nifty prize at the end for all the suckage. Plus NJhusband promised to get me a super fancy new coffee maker for my efforts, so that's TWO pretty cool prizes. 

"Stuff" wise we are pretty much set for the baby. We've bought the essentials and a bunch of completely non-essentials. NJhusband still needs to install the carseat in the car, but that's really it. My bag and the diaper bag are packed for the hospital. 

One month to go! 

Monday, September 9, 2013

Small Victories in Anxiety

I went to Target and Starbucks with my husband today in the SAME CAR. 

Now, for most people, that isn't a major accomplishment, but for someone who is plagued by social phobia and panic disorder and has been off their meds for 16 months it is HUGE. My husband and I have been taking separate cars to every errand, doctors appointment and social function for over a year now because of how severe my panic attacks can get while in the car with another person. 

It has been awhile since I have felt like I was inching toward progress and pushing my comfort zone. I'm far from being able to be "normal" and will likely go back on my meds immediately after the birth, but at least I'm heading in the right direction. For a LONG time now I felt like I was running towards the anxiety and not away from it. 

I'm glad my internal GPS is finally on track!

Thursday, September 5, 2013

34 Weeks - I got Dumped

I had my 34 week appointment today and found out that my beloved doctor has suddenly left the practice!  After seeing the new doctor twice in a row, I asked to switch back to my doctor and that's when the receptionist told me she was gone! I am beyond bummed, I had been seeing her for years and really liked her. Now the person delivering me will be a virtual stranger. Ugh. 

I am not a happy camper. 

In other baby news, I didn't gain any weight at all in 2 weeks, but his growth scan showed the baby is still on track so they aren't TOO concerned. Next week they check his position (fingers crossed for head down) and do the lovely group B strep test. Goodtimes. 

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Operation Acclimate Dog

With less than 6 weeks to go now until my due date, we have started slowly acclimating Orion to baby things. He happily accepted the change from office to nursery once we got a rug back down on the floor for him to park on, but he's having a bit more trouble with things in our main living spaces. 

This weekend we put together the swing and he alternates between being completely freaked out by it and by going up to it and smacking it with his nose ("nosing" is a typical curiosity behavior for him). Since neither behavior is entirely ideal, we are working on it. We have been turning it on in small increments throughout the day to get him used to the sounds and motion. He seems to be QUITE interested in the fluffy toys that circle above the baby's head, which may become problematic at some point. The swing also puts the baby at his EXACT head level so there will obviously need to be constant supervision while in use. 

Next up we are working on stroller comfort. He is 100% fine with the stroller inside the house, but freaks out when it's outside and moving. Going for walks is still a MAJOR hurdle for him anxiety-wise so it may take awhile for him to get comfortable with the stroller. I have hope he will overcome it though.

I have less hope in the stuffed animal/toy department. I think poor Eli is going to lose a LOT of toys to the doggie throughout his life. Orion understands the "leave it" command, but doesn't obey 100% of the time. I have better luck with "trade" which I accidentally came up with on my own. He had something in the yard I wanted and I happened to have a toy in my hand and just yelled to him "trade" which made him look up to me and come get it. Since then we have had great luck with the "trade" system as long as whatever we have in our hand is of better "value" to him. I may be carrying a LOT of treats and toys in my pocket in the coming months! 

Any tips on getting pets comfortable with a new household member? I need all the help I can get!